If you’re a natural people pleaser or if you tend to shy away from conflict, saying “no” to people may be very uncomfortable.
But sometimes, it can’t be avoided. There are probably going to be times at work when someone asks you to do something that’s impossible or ill-advised, and you’ll have to turn down the request.
How to say “no” depends on whom you’re talking to.
Saying “no” to managers
If you’re declining to do something that your manager has asked, you should have a very good reason. Sit down with your manager to discuss the problem, and explain why you can’t do the requested task. For example, you might say, “I’m scheduled to work in the banquet hall from 4:00 p.m. until midnight, and this meeting starts at 4:30.” Ask your manager how they’d like to resolve the conflict.
If your manager suggests a course of action that you don’t think will work, you could express your concerns, but you’ll probably need to at least give their ideas a try. Make a plan to check back with them to monitor your progress and make adjustments if needed. Suppose they tell you to draft a report by the end of the week, despite your objections that there isn’t enough time in your schedule. You could say, “I’m still worried that there won’t be enough time to complete the report by Friday unless I drop another assignment or get a coworker to help. I’m happy to start work on it, but could we meet again tomorrow afternoon to make sure I’m on track?”
You’ll need to take a different approach if your manager is asking you to violate company rules or to do something illegal or inappropriate. In those hopefully rare cases, you should report the incident to HR.
Saying “no” to teammates
If teammates ask you to do something that isn’t part of your job description or that your manager doesn’t require, you can often choose to politely decline. You’ll probably want to give a reason, such as lacking the necessary skills or being too busy with an assignment.
Although it’s not always strictly necessary, it may be a good idea to see if you can help with part of their request even if you can’t do everything they want. Or, you might be able to recommend someone else who can help. If that’s also not possible, watch for other opportunities to lend a hand in the future. You don’t need to agree to everything your teammates ask, but you want to help others out frequently enough that you maintain a good rapport and can ask them for assistance yourself when you need it.
If a coworker is adamant that you do something you don’t want to do or if you’re repeatedly fielding similar requests, it may be time to call a meeting with your manager so they can settle the disagreement.
Saying “no” to guests
When you say “no” to guests, be apologetic and sympathize with their predicament. You should also give a brief reason why you can’t accede to their request, without going into too many details or getting bogged down in an argument about it. For example, if you can’t give guests the room they want, you might say, “I’m so sorry, but all of our honeymoon suites are booked for the night. I wish we had one available for your stay.”
If you can offer an alternative, see if the guests will take it. You could say, “We have another room available that also has an in-room hot tub and king-sized bed, although it doesn’t have a private balcony. Would you like to book that one?”
If a guest wants something that could never happen, you’ll need to let them know. Telling them that you’re following a policy may take some of the stings out of a negative answer, as most people will understand that there are rules in place that you have to adhere to. You might say, “The hotel has a policy of allowing only dogs and cats, so I’m afraid we won’t be able to accommodate your llama on the property.”
See if you can think of any ideas that might help with their dilemma. If they want something that your hotel doesn’t provide, there may be other businesses in the area that could cater to their needs. For instance, you might suggest, “There’s an animal boarding facility three miles down the road, and your llama may be able to stay there during your visit. Let me get you their number.” (Of course, if you’re working as a concierge, you would offer to make the arrangements yourself.)
Many guests will probably appreciate that you’re trying to find a solution to their problem. But if they become angry or insist on something you can’t provide, you’ll likely need to call your manager to help de-escalate.