Table of Contents
- First Technique: Forget the “Golden Rule”
- Second Technique: Be Aware of Your Pitch and Tone
- Third Technique: Mirror
- Fourth Technique: Listen Attentively
- Fifth Technique: Artful Vagueness
- Sixth Technique: Use Everyone’s Favorite Word
- Seventh Technique: Compliments
Making a fabulous impression on people opens doors for your personal, and career endeavors. People like charming people who make them feel comfortable. So, making a fantastic impression helps you get where you want to go.
The basic rule to making a great impression is this: Humans crave to be around people who seem similar to themselves.
The keyword is ‘seems’. Everyone differs from other people in hundreds of ways. However, you get along with people who seem similar to you in interests, feelings, experiences, or goals. You can put these techniques into action to help people feel you seem similar to them and, as a result, make a wonderful impression.
First Technique: Forget the “Golden Rule”
Since people crave to be around people who seem similar to themselves, avoid wasting time on the “Golden Rule” fantasy suggesting, “Treat people as you want to be treated.”
People do not want to be treated the way you want to be treated! Instead, treat other people the way they like being treated. You make a stellar impression by focusing on their likes, not yours.
Second Technique: Be Aware of Your Pitch and Tone
In order for any conversation to go anywhere, both people have to clearly understand each other. Be mindful of how soft or loud and fast or slow you are talking, as well as how it is coming across in tone.
You’ve maybe run into someone who spoke every word overly cheerful that it came off as odd or disingenuous or someone who just seemed angry even if they weren’t. This can make people uncomfortable, so try to keep a steady, calm, and friendly tone.
Third Technique: Mirror
Mirroring proves incredibly subtle, powerful, and physical. It helps the person instinctively feel comfortable with you. How? You mirror – make yourself seem similar to – the person’s
> Body language
> Vocal style
> Attire
To impress someone who sits straight, you sit straight with that person. If the person speaks slowly, then you do likewise. And dress as formally or informally as the person you want to impress.
Fourth Technique: Listen Attentively
To make a great impression, listen well using these tactics:
> Paraphrase or repeat ideas the person said
> Ask questions
> Take notes
Fifth Technique: Artful Vagueness
Sometimes, you need to buy yourself some time to fully think through how best to approach or respond to a situation. But you also don’t want to completely ignore it or say the wrong thing. This is when you use a non-commital phrase that shows the person you listened, but doesn’t take one side over another.
This technique is called artful vagueness. You can get out of uncomfortable jams using these artfully vague phrases:
> “That’s an idea.”
> “You’ve got a point.”
> You may be right.”
Sixth Technique: Use Everyone’s Favorite Word
Imagine a time you heard someone shout your name. I bet you spun around to see who called you. We are drawn to people who say our names. Research comparing high-achievers and underachievers revealed that high achievers used the name of the person they spoke to one or more times in each conversation.
In contrast, underachievers used the name of the person they encountered less than half the time. This means high-achievers use the name of people they talk with much more than underachievers. You can do what high-achievers do.
Seventh Technique: Compliments
High achievers gave an average of three compliments per day. However, underachievers seldom gave compliments. What an intriguing difference you can use to your advantage!
Some people say these seven charm school techniques are “selling out.” But, a French saying puts it in perspective: “A car can go as far on square wheels as it can go on round wheels. The difference is that on round wheels the ride is much smoother.”
Go through your life on round wheels!